Saturday, 19 September 2015

Predjama Party: A Betrayal Most Fecal

Predjama, Slovenia (Predjama, Slovenija)
The Predjama castle is a nigh impenetrable fortress set amongst vertical cliffs in a densely forested area of the Slovenian countryside. 
I was awoken by Yannick upon arrival in the carpark after a brief but successful roadtrip nap. Quite groggy, I was plied with Toblerone in an effort to bring me back to my senses. 
The road leading to the castle became slick as it had begun to rain and cleverly we had forgotten our umbrellas in the car. It was under the shelter of the ticket office that we debated whether or not to pay the dear entrance fee to see inside. The attendant wasn't any help when asked what we would be able to see, but we finally settled on purchasing tickets. Approaching the front gates, we were presented with complimentary audioguides, which made the visit considerably more enjoyable. 
A posh Slovenian lady told us all about the five layers of the castle, and informed us that there were many owners, the most famous being Ernesto Predjama. Presented in fables as a Slovenian Robin Hood, Ernesto robbed merchant caravans and hid in the nearby castle when pursued. He was besieged for a year and a half, and during that time he taunted his assailants by gifting them fresh cherries and other delicacies that certainly didn't grow in the rocky confines of his hideout (these were acquired through a secret passageway to the top of the mountain). They became more irate until they were able to convince a castle servant to betray Ernesto and divulge the weakest point in defences. It was in the lavatory that Ernesto met his end - from a well-timed catapult that struck the loo wall as he was doing his business. 
As well as a secret passage for tasty treats, the castle contains some excellent methods for withstanding assault. The most important is how fresh drinking water drips down through the tiny crevices in the rock, which was then collected in great stone barrels. 
However useful this moisture is for sustaining life within the castle, it does mean that it's an incredibly damp and cold place to live. Only one room in the fortress was able to be heated - a bedroom, which would often double as a living room and sometimes even triple as a toilet. A small window connected this cosy room to a chapel, where the priest could preach to lowly peasants in the chill while the noble family who lived inside could worship with toasty digits. 
The bell used to call residents to mass is now allegedly good luck to ring. I'm not a superstitious person so I avoided assailing my ears. 
As the castle is built into a natural cave system, there are countless rooms that make use of the cavernous spaces. In many areas, the merger between natural and man-made structure was seamless, as cliff walls faded to patterned stone with difficulty in pinpointing the exact location where one ends and the other begins. 

A terrace was built in such a way that one can look out across the land while it is raining and not be affected by a single drop, as the cliff juts out above to create a natural awning. 
The dungeon was located at the bottom of a twisting pit in the cliff, where agonised pleas for release would echo alarmingly and probably drive prisoners mad. A floor above, you were able to look down at the glimmer of candlelight that illuminated a strung-up mannequin. 
The drawbridge is positioned right over a mighty drop to the rocks below. 
From a room one level above the drawbridge are perfectly placed murder holes through which rocks, the contents of chamber pots or boiling oil could be dropped onto attackers. 
Construction began in the thirteenth century, yet has been revamped countless times over the centuries, which has led to bricked-up doors at noticeably different levels to the current floor. Much of the current version of the castle dates to the sixteenth century. 
All in all, I'm immensely glad I decided to fork out €9 to see the inner workings of Predjama Castle, and you'll be happy to know that we picnicked in our car afterwards and Toblerone was once again on the menu. 

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